sometimes i forget that a lot of you have never heard my voice and i wonder what kind of voice you picture me having omg
(Source: alexander-williamgaskarth, via leslieroomel)
one guacamole is equal to 6.0221415×10²³ guacas
(Source: beesmygod, via fyeahiblogalot)
if you use the term “fandom”, then please kill yourself.
if you tell people to kill themselves for using a harmless term, you’re probably a pretty big douchebag and I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
what the hell do i call the fanbase then
the heavenly order of psychopaths
satan’s favorite porn writers
satan’s favourite porn writers
(Source: placebomurzyn, via raggedyangelin221b)
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
JESUS CRUST
(Source: secretsbest, via prussia-and-hungarys-daughter)
Tumblr sur We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/47513677/via/orsiibarna
(via dontletthembring-youdown)
HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!
Why do I learn more about math from Tumblr than my 12+ years of formal education????????
No math teacher ever taught me this trick. Got damn.
This is great and all if you know how to subtract things from 100
(via superwholock-tolkien)
me when I meet my new neighbours
(Source: cuntlickula, via naditemesadkujee)
“So Hannibal what is for dinner tonight”
[soulja boy voice] “YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”
(via umadbro-s)
